The Police Can’t Help You…

…If they don’t know where you are!

In the 4 hours I’ve been at work tonight I have given 3 geography lessons on 911 to people who were calling from THEIR OWN HOMES!

Here was the jist of one of the calls..

ME: 911. Where is your emergency?

CALLER: The people in the apartment above me have their TV or stereo turned up too loud. (I’ve learned that people usually ignore whatever I say when I answer the phone.)

ME: Ok. What is your address?

CALLER: I live in 204. They’re right above me so I think it’s 304.

ME: Ok. What is the address that you are at? (If you have to ask someone the same question twice, it’s better to use different words so they don’t ignore you.)

CALLER: Grand avenue. Apartment 204.

ME: Ok…… You’re on Grand. What is the ADDRESS there? (There are at least 6 apartment buildings on Grand in our small city.)

CALLER: Well, they’re above me, so I’m pretty sure it’s on the 3rd floor and it’s really annoying and-

ME: What. Is. Your. ADDRESS? If I sent you a letter, what is the ADDRESS would I write on the envelope?!

CALLER: Oh…I just moved here…. Lemme see… Oh, it’s (blah blah address).

Now, I understand that if you’re somewhere other than your home you probably don’t know the address, but when you call 911 WE NEED YOU TO TELL US WHERE YOU ARE! Addresses are great. Intersections help. Use landmarks, business names (except Starbucks, there’s too many), latitude and longitude. Find something unique and big and describe it. If you want someone who drives a vehicle with red and blue flashy lights on it to come help you, we need YOUR HELP first to find out where you are. We can guess if we absolutely have to and we’re pretty good at it, but we get there quicker with your help.

This Public Service Announcement has been brought to you in part by people who ANNOY THE HELL OUT OF ME! Thank you.