More Curious Than Worried

‘Pearls Before Swine’ Gets It Right

“I just spent 2 hours in front of my computer, but I didn’t get anything done! WHY?”
….

Now you know!

Lady, You Lie Worse Than My 6 Year Old

It’s been a while since I posted a fun 9-1-1 call. Tonight I got one though that made me laugh.

A guy calls 9-1-1 from his cell phone because his girlfriend hit him and was pulling on his already broken arm. I get his address. I get the girls name, her description and generally what happened. During the call, they start to argue and shout and the phone disconnects.

About 15 seconds later, I get another 9-1-1 call from the same cell phone. This time it’s the girlfriend. The conversation goes something like this…

Me: 9-1-1. This is Scott.
Girl: This is (girlfriend) at (address). The call you just got about the domestic is a prank call.
Me: Ok. What is your boyfriend’s name?
Girl: I don’t have a boyfriend.
Me: Ok then, who is the guy with the broken arm who just called me?
Girl: I don’t know anyone…uh…I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Me: Well then, who’s phone are you using?
Girl: …… *click*

I call the number back and talk to the guy. After hanging up the phone she booked it out the door. Stupid lady.

Realtor Burglarizes Home For Sale, Leaves Dead Birds

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.” – Albert Einstien

Before I tell you about this call I just dispatched, I want to warn you of a couple things….

1. This story is true. I wish I could make up stuff this good, but the world is far more crafty than I am.
2. Do NOT attempt to figure out the logic of this call. Just sit back and enjoy the ridiculous-ness of it. Attempting to put logic into the situation will only make your brain hurt in odd ways. It kinda feels like brain freeze without the comfort of the cold, stabby pain. I cannot stress this enough.

Just after 5:30 a.m. on Sunday morning a woman calls the police to talk about a burglary that occurred at the house next to her. After approximately 10 minutes of following a circular cycle of paranoia, stupidity and I-watch-too-much-crime-drama-ness, here is what we came up with:

• About 2 weeks ago, the vacant house next to her was burglarized. (This turns out to be true, a report was already taken by the realtor who is trying to sell the house.)
• Since then, she has found 2 dead birds and a dead squirrel in her yard.

This leads our caller to conclude one thing: The realtor burglarized the vacant house and is killing small animals and tossing them in the caller’s yard because they burglarized the house that they’re trying to sell.

911 Dispatch – A Mental Disorder

My sister sent me these funny 911 dispatch images in an email. Enjoy!